Skip to main content

Alcohol Abuse or Alcoholism Support

  • Thread starter Thread starter Anyonymous
  • Start date Start date

Alcohol Abuse or Alcoholism Support

A

Anyonymous

Hi All,

I'm at desperation/breaking point with my other half and her alcohol abuse/alcoholism and am looking for any advice or support necessary to help save her but also to stop myself going round the bend.

We've had argument after argument, we've had hiding alcohol in the house, lying etc the absolute works. I've tried ultimatums, I've got angry, I've begged, I've moved out and gone back, I've got family involved I feel I have tried everything but its effecting me so much now that I am a tense nervous anxious wreck.

I feel though if I was to end the relationship for my own sanity that I am the last thing holding her here from either doing something stupid or going completely over the edge to which she would be lost to this thing forever and it would end up killing her.

Feel free to ask any questions more about the situation to get a further understanding so you can offer any advice.

Massively appreciate it.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles with a partner's alcohol addition. Could you persuade him/her to go and get a check up (liver test etc)? You can do that without asking them to stop (which they won't do anyway). When the test comes back massively raised (enzymes) it might nudge them to do something about it, but it really has to come from them. You lose perspective when you're drinking (very) heavily.
 
Why is she drinking is a key question you need to find out. (You may already have). It is often for a reason and it is then the reason that needs to be addressed. Hope you find a way forward.
 
Speaking from experience, if your partner recognises that she has a problem with alcohol, try an AA 'Open Meeting'. They're more social get togethers for both alcoholics and non-alcoholics without signing up for, or committing to, the 12 steps.
If your partner denies she has a problem with alcohol then your situation becomes, bluntly, a lot more difficult. You need support dealing with the issue. Al-Anon, if available to you, may provide you with tools to deal with the situation.

I wish you all the very best and a successful outcome. DM me if you think I may be of more help.
 
Usually people fall into these habits for a reason, unpick that and you might be able to work on it. Be prepared for ups and downs on the road to recovery.

Not sure if you're from Lancashire, but we have the Inspire service here that's maybe worth looking into if she agrees to the help, they might even have advice for friends and family too.
 
Just thought I would update people that the relationship is/has been officially over for nearly a month now, I have moved out of the shared home and taken 1 of the 2 dogs with me which hasn't been a nice experience at all.

I've never had to deal with the mental gymnastics of something like this before, the blame, the finger pointing, the sense of abandoning someone, the heartache on top of the feeling of being on your own or restarting your life again, then you add the regret and the feelings of did you contribute to this could you have done more its not a good headspace to me.

I've just had an amazing weekend away for the F1 in Monaco and Amsterdam with friends and I just had a sadness lingering around but hopefully all of these feelings are only temporary.

But the feeling of having broken someone's heart and left them is one that hopefully leaves you with time.
 
Anyonymous said:
Just thought I would update people that the relationship is/has been officially over for nearly a month now, I have moved out of the shared home and taken 1 of the 2 dogs with me which hasn't been a nice experience at all.

I've never had to deal with the mental gymnastics of something like this before, the blame, the finger pointing, the sense of abandoning someone, the heartache on top of the feeling of being on your own or restarting your life again, then you add the regret and the feelings of did you contribute to this could you have done more its not a good headspace to me.

I've just had an amazing weekend away for the F1 in Monaco and Amsterdam with friends and I just had a sadness lingering around but hopefully all of these feelings are only temporary.

But the feeling of having broken someone's heart and left them is one that hopefully leaves you with time.
Click to expand...
Don’t be too hard on yourself you’ve clearly tried your best to help your partner.
If you had suffered a breakdown trying to deal with the situation you wouldn’t have been able to help them in any case.
I hope they get the help they need to begin a recovery.
I wish you well.
 
Anyonymous said:
Just thought I would update people that the relationship is/has been officially over for nearly a month now, I have moved out of the shared home and taken 1 of the 2 dogs with me which hasn't been a nice experience at all.

I've never had to deal with the mental gymnastics of something like this before, the blame, the finger pointing, the sense of abandoning someone, the heartache on top of the feeling of being on your own or restarting your life again, then you add the regret and the feelings of did you contribute to this could you have done more its not a good headspace to me.

I've just had an amazing weekend away for the F1 in Monaco and Amsterdam with friends and I just had a sadness lingering around but hopefully all of these feelings are only temporary.

But the feeling of having broken someone's heart and left them is one that hopefully leaves you with time.
Click to expand...

Breakups are never easy, don't blame yourself, don't accept finger pointing because you made a choice for both of you. You didn't abandon, you broke free from a situation that could of destroyed both of you. Your not alone, you got friends, and us. Don't linger on that regret. You spoke out and looked for help, you did what many don't do.

Hopefully she will seek help and get better, Alcohol is evil and it's not pleasant to live on the other end of it. Whatever life holds for you both, I hope it's happy and peaceful.

Take Care and remember whilst we all go through crap, despite my postings on here and everything, nothing is ever easy. But I am always happy to help, talk and my inbox is always open for Private discussions if needed. And remember laughter is the best Medicine (Apparently), that's why I giving everyone a laugh with my charity event.
 
Back
Top