P
Parent of an older child.
Life can be tough so I hope folk don't mind me posting this.
I have a 30 year old son living at home, until about 6 months ago he went out to work but he really struggled, not because of a work ethic but because he really struggled in situations with other people.
Bottom line the place where he worked offered voluntary redundancy and he took it, against my advice. Being at work at least got him out of the house and als put him into a social situation.
He went to Uni but really struggled there and I now know it was because of his social anxieties and I've since found out he rarely went to lectures and was mostly in his student digs playing games on his xbox and laptop.
Its now at a situation, at home, where he doesn't come out of his room other than to collect his meals and then scoot back up to his room.
I'm constantly having to encourage him to shower and if don't then he just will not have one. A lot of the time he, quite frankly, stinks and his mum has to blag his head to get him to bring washing down.
Ive encouraged him to go to the GP and one day he did go, which was encouraging.
Ive suspected, since he was a small boy that he may suffer from autism and when he went to the GP they kind of confirmed this along with ADHD and referred him to mental health services. However, the waiting list is 4 years!
Hes a very gentle lad, very bright and as a kid never caused us any bother whatever although, even back then, we suspected something wasn't quite right starting at primary school where we were often informed by teachers that he seemed to, "Wander," in lessons. Gladly one teacher sussed that he was just different and rather than not paying attention he was actually taking things in really well and was in fact a very good learner.
I feel lost, as an older parent, as to what I can do. With him being an adult I cant approach the GP about him due to patient confidentiality but I feel desperate now, for him, as i see a life just ebbing away because he doesn't seem able to get the help that he needs.
Where do I go for help when he doesn't seem to want to avail of it for himself?
I have a 30 year old son living at home, until about 6 months ago he went out to work but he really struggled, not because of a work ethic but because he really struggled in situations with other people.
Bottom line the place where he worked offered voluntary redundancy and he took it, against my advice. Being at work at least got him out of the house and als put him into a social situation.
He went to Uni but really struggled there and I now know it was because of his social anxieties and I've since found out he rarely went to lectures and was mostly in his student digs playing games on his xbox and laptop.
Its now at a situation, at home, where he doesn't come out of his room other than to collect his meals and then scoot back up to his room.
I'm constantly having to encourage him to shower and if don't then he just will not have one. A lot of the time he, quite frankly, stinks and his mum has to blag his head to get him to bring washing down.
Ive encouraged him to go to the GP and one day he did go, which was encouraging.
Ive suspected, since he was a small boy that he may suffer from autism and when he went to the GP they kind of confirmed this along with ADHD and referred him to mental health services. However, the waiting list is 4 years!
Hes a very gentle lad, very bright and as a kid never caused us any bother whatever although, even back then, we suspected something wasn't quite right starting at primary school where we were often informed by teachers that he seemed to, "Wander," in lessons. Gladly one teacher sussed that he was just different and rather than not paying attention he was actually taking things in really well and was in fact a very good learner.
I feel lost, as an older parent, as to what I can do. With him being an adult I cant approach the GP about him due to patient confidentiality but I feel desperate now, for him, as i see a life just ebbing away because he doesn't seem able to get the help that he needs.
Where do I go for help when he doesn't seem to want to avail of it for himself?
