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Advice needed

Advice needed

wld said:
I’m a long way from being an expert on this but please rest assured that the lady knows exactly what she’s doing and you should see progress over the next few sessions. You’re doing exactly the right thing and my prayers are with you - I don’t know if you’re religious but they can’t do any harm!
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I am yes. Catholic. Much appreciated mate
 
Nobber said:
Exactly this.

You will find you just pour it all out. That’s what you need to clear your brain.

I know this sounds really stupid but, if ever I am struggling or keep wanting to do something I splash my face in cold water.

The reason, because whenever I got upset or got in bother over something as a child my dad used to tell me to do so (usually after a bollocking for trying to poison my sister or something). I still do it to this day, and so do my kids. Sounds ridiculous…….but it works.
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Great idea. I tell my lad to do that too if he gets upset after a bollocking
 
northender0602 said:
Good for you for keeping the appointment, it’s the first step on the road to YOUR future. Stick with it 👍
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Cheers mate. It's very hard. Massive temptation to sort things. I'd do anything if I knew it would all be ok. But if won't. And I'm struggling to come to terms with that
 
DSPP said:
Cheers mate. It's very hard. Massive temptation to sort things. I'd do anything if I knew it would all be ok. But if won't. And I'm struggling to come to terms with that
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Resist all temptation. Temptation is the route to evil.

I know how hard it will be for you (been there too, same but different) but it’s for the best. It does get easier with time. I’ll not lie though. It might be a lot of months that you feel temptations.
You deserve happiness with someone that appreciates you and loves you back.
 
prestonmadhouse said:
Resist all temptation. Temptation is the route to evil.

I know how hard it will be for you (been there too, same but different) but it’s for the best. It does get easier with time. I’ll not lie though. It might be a lot of months that you feel temptations.
You deserve happiness with someone that appreciates you and loves you back.
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Finally concluded the divorce in the past two weeks. Her behaviour has come out throughout the process including her anger and her awful words. Actually glad those closest to me got to witness it and now realised the ‘innocent and religious’ ex wife is actually one who was controlling and a utter bitch.

Don’t go back mate you will feel better long term.
 
prestonmadhouse said:
Resist all temptation. Temptation is the route to evil.

I know how hard it will be for you (been there too, same but different) but it’s for the best. It does get easier with time. I’ll not lie though. It might be a lot of months that you feel temptations.
You deserve happiness with someone that appreciates you and loves you
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Managed to resist.

I'm the worst in the world at DIY but decided to make a start on the bunk bed for my daughters.

Expect another thread from me for advice when it collapses in a week 😂😂
 
DSPP said:
Managed to resist.

I'm the worst in the world at DIY but decided to make a start on the bunk bed for my daughters.

Expect another thread from me for advice when it collapses in a week 😂😂
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I'm not great at DIY either, but my recent project was replacing the shed felt roof that the storm ripped apart yonks ago. The size of my toolbox would have you probably think I work in the trade, haven't used 80% of it though.

The shed roof was cackhandedly done because I ran out of Bitumen, but on the side where we mostly see it from, it looks decent.
 
DSPP said:
Cheers mate. It's very hard. Massive temptation to sort things. I'd do anything if I knew it would all be ok. But if won't. And I'm struggling to come to terms with that
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That statement means you’re winning. Not only that, it shows you’ve got real strength.
Stick at it, mate.
 
Big setback today. She's told me she's seeing someone. A mix of relief yet also feels like a sledgehammer to the gut
 
giro said:
It’s not a setback, mate. Accentuate the relief. Don’t let her yank your chain.

Stay strong mate. You’re going to win!
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Feels like a setback. Spent all day torturing myself with images of them both
 
DSPP said:
Big setback today. She's told me she's seeing someone. A mix of relief yet also feels like a sledgehammer to the gut
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She seems to take great delight in seeing you suffer.

You are better off without her, just keep telling yourself that.

Be strong and in time you will meet someone new ( if you want to )

Take care….
 
DSPP said:
Feels like a setback. Spent all day torturing myself with images of them both
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The good thing is your imagination is just that, your imagination. Those images aren't reflections of the truth and if you are able to gain control of your thoughts you can make whatever reality you want from it.

Try not to torture yourself, you don't need to inflict pain on yourself like that now, it's over and you are in control of your life not her. Easier said than done I know.
 
Doing ok thanks for asking. I do have days where I miss her ridiculously. But then I remind myself of the bad aspects of her. She's actually being ok with me. There's the odd message asking who I'm talking to or shagging but not much more.Yes I'm still seeing a counsellor and think I will for the foreseeable
 
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