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It's good to talk

It's good to talk

pne_monster

pne_monster

Joined
Aug 17, 2004
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Having spotted that this week is MHAW I wondered if we were offering a similar "buddy system" to previous years, or is the anonymous posting in this sub forum intended to operate in a similar manner?
 
pne_monster said:
Having spotted that this week is MHAW I wondered if we were offering a similar "buddy system" to previous years, or is the anonymous posting in this sub forum intended to operate in a similar manner?
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That`s my understanding of the situation.

The subject is not straightforward.

I had some input on this on the mod forum when involved...and was not happy with the outcome...that only trained professionals can be recommended by PNE Online as available to contact should anyone feel suicidal and wish to talk about it.

So I`m not sure there ever was a `buddy list` in the first place.

Admin had good l advice on this from some trained board members, and I support their decision to protect the forum..who may be held responsible if someone tops themselves after talking to an untrained forum member

Still think it stinks, though...it feels a bit like prejudice is still there, below the surface. And it fails to recognise that the main danger with male depression is the failure to talk, by those who may be suicidal.

Quite frankly, as someone who is `there` daily, it`s the talking that`s important...not WHO you talk to.

If that someone else is another depressive..doesn`t mean they`ll just both top themselves in some suicide pact!

(Apologies if this seems a harsh post..you should have seen the rants I deleted, last year! )
 
I understand your frustration, and certainly people who have any sort of challenge should be encouraged to talk, but I respect the boards decision to only recommend qualified practitioners. Not only to protect the board but also to ensure those that do seek help are in touch with the right people.
 
pne_monster said:
I understand your frustration, and certainly people who have any sort of challenge should be encouraged to talk, but I respect the boards decision to only recommend qualified practitioners. Not only to protect the board but also to ensure those that do seek help are in touch with the right people.
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Oh, I agree with the decision.

I`m just frustrated that, in the end, it means very little was actually done, imo.

So yes..the sub-forum is pretty much the sum of the initiative, as far as I can see.
 
There are those, on here, who can be contacted by PM, though. A cursory glance around this sub section will give a clue. I think its fair to say that those who have been contacted have always kept any matters totally 100% confidential.

Sometimes even putting thoughts down in writing to another will be a massive help.
 
pne_monster said:
I agree Raefil which I think is where Bardas is coming from. I'm always available if anyone needs an ear.
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Think I`m a bit too close to it..you guys are right, of course, a network DOES exist, but the forum does little apart from make a space available..fair enough.

One reason I get so worked up is because I had a great deal of experience councilling the suicidal, and severe depressives, when younger. Mainly at college.

A girl I was friendly with spotted I had injuries..and realised why.I confided in her...and a few days later, a young man turned up at my door. All he could say was` Fiona sent me`.

He sat with me for 11 hours..and never said one word. Just cried, shook, sobbed.

It was the hardest night of my life..at the time. Weeks later..he turned up again....and thanked me for saving his life. Said it had been touch and go right up to the moment he left.

After that..there was a stream of them. Word got out.

Not one would ever, for one moment, have spoken to a professional.That was clear..and often said. These young men were so ashamed of how they felt...they could only confide to someone else they knew understood their situation....and,vitally...would not judge.

Probably should have mentioned this before. Explains some of my strong feelings on the matter.
 
Ah I understand now why you're so passionate about it. It's a difficult balance I guess that the mods are trying to strike.
 
I ran a site for a while called Head candy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzclzcs8Izk

it was designed as a place were people
could come together and talk about there problems
but it became too much for one person to do alone and sadly now
its no longer running . When a person has an Anxiety attack there body and mind
begin to go there separate ways and the actions of the body panic the mind.
Those who suffer will know exactly what i mean , the body is in distress and the mind panics .
The mind is convinced the body is going into respiratory problems and fear a heart attack will follow ,
this is when the person needs the help for often the panic is so great breathlessness and the inability to sit or stand still take full control .
When this situation arises people need someone there to talk them down sadly the other sites ive seen set up to deal with there needs are not in anyway able to cope with the numbers , when Anxiety hits you you need 1 on 1 help to help you deflect the immediate problem that is reassurance that you are going to be fine and the feeling will pass .

One day i would love to meet other people with the time and resources and know how to get the site running again , when youve talked a few people down its like a domino effect , they then use the knowledge to talk others down and this helps them find a greater understanding of the problem .

Thanks for listening
 
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Respect to you Dirk...one thing I would really wish to ask...for personal reasons....and you don`t need to reply publically, if at all...is how did it affect you, yourself? When dealing with others, in difficulty? Did it change you?
 
Bardas said:
Respect to you Dirk...one thing I would really wish to ask...for personal reasons....and you don`t need to reply publically, if at all...is how did it affect you, yourself? When dealing with others, in difficulty? Did it change you?
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I suffered with Anxiety myself ending in a breakdown 8 years ago , i reached a point were i thought death was imminent and i made a stand , then i discovered i had found a way of bringing people down when they bounce of the wall as i had . I put my heart and soul into helping as many as i could and spreading what i had discovered to as many people as possible . Today through this i am no longer effected by Anxiety and my hope is 1 day i can put a dedicated group of maybe 6-8 people and kick start a site i know would be an answer for many people out there suffering . One thing i would say is , anyone out there suffering do not think you can fight it alone , this is not only a very tough condition its also able to upset your every day life in ways your very aware of . your not alone so don't be alone .


Sorry Bards how did it make me feel , every time you help someone it has two effects on yourself , 1 no two people are alike and you feel there terror as they fight to calm down from what they believe is the brink of something awful , 2 , a great sense of feeling as though you were there for someone who needed you and you helped to cope with a very serious illness .
 
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