My Depression

[outreacher]

Over the last year my girlfriend of just over 2 years ended our relationship. I've kept in contact with her by professing my love to her which is met by the same stone cold response of she's no longer in love with me. Little under a month ago I cut all contact with her as she'd lowered my self esteem to zero. This is a hard process for me as I continue to think about her in my daily life, still reminisce about the past with her and still 'plan' for the future including her.

It has also been my last year of university. I have taken four years to do a three year course because of my lack of effort last year. This year I have had very few acquaintances left at the university and so have buried my head in books at the library in order to finish my exams and pass my degree. I've lived with a housemate from hell who would make me feel awful for, generally, not being in the house enough. This housemate was not a university friend, just someone I'd met in the area. He had constant digs at me and my personality because I wasn't a fulfilling friend for him.

In late April I started throwing up on a daily basis. I would be awoken by the need to throw up and this process lasted 22 days before I saw the doctor. She diagnosed me with a stomach ulcer and I have been on medication for this since. Having the ulcer prevented me from doing my exams in May and so I now have to wait until August to finish my degree.

I have moved back home to Preston with my family now. I am working three days a week in a job where I feel like I'm valued less than the printer. Every day I come home and I feel like shit. I want to get away from everybody, not have to deal with speaking to people and hiding myself in my room. I have very few friends remaining in Preston and so in the last month I have left my house twice for reasons other than work. I am depressed. Life isn't what I expected it to be, I can't find meaning in anything that I do, and I struggle to believe that my presence has a positive effect on anybody or any situation.

My mum wants me to go and see the doctor. This will doubtless see me prescribed anti depressants which I've heard awful things about. From experience, what are the right ways to go about feeling better about myself and the things I'm doing in life?

Please help.

I had a massive breakdown 36 years ago, I attempted suicide and was completely lost and in despair. Broken marriage, nowhere to go, black cloud.

I overcame it, not by myself or by any help, it just happened, I had to leave Preston, start a new life and change my perceptions. I went through hell for a couple of years.

Was a very bad time, sometimes I still have dreams about that black period, I know it happened and I survived, my life is OK now, thing was for me, I had no control over the depression, I couldn't handle anything but it went away.

I know some people have a constant battle against depression, but in my case it passed and has never returned.

Try loving the people around you and yourself, reactive depression can last for a long time but eventually it will pass.

 

[sussexrob]

I was involved in a serious fraud case that I had uncovered.

Kept it together for years. Got threatened, family threatened. Company I worked for didn't believe me. Thought I was going to lose my job, my family, everything.

Then one day, after one too many rows, I gave in

I left my house in tears and walked through the night. My wife finally found me sat on the floor behind the Finney Fountain. I couldn't even think, I cried uncontrollably and couldn't stop......I hadn't cried since I was a kid. My wife took me straight to the doctors who took me straight in. Then I couldn't stop, for days.

I can't even remember most of it but it was a physical as well as a mental breakdown. I hurt for months.







I was proven correct in my case, many people lost their jobs and prosecuted. My honesty nearly killed me.

Thanks Nobber for you're reply . What i dont understand though how does it affect you're body brain so you can not go on . Sorry if i sound thick just trying to understand it.

 

[Nobber]

Thanks Nobber for you're reply . What i dont understand though how does it affect you're body brain so you can not go on . Sorry if i sound thick just trying to understand it.

It's a physical feeling. You lose all energy, completely gone. It's as though existing takes all your effort. You sit down and it's as though your brain tells your body that you cannot get back up as there is no point in moving.

 

[sussexrob]

It's a physical feeling. You lose all energy, completely gone. It's as though existing takes all your effort. You sit down and it's as though your brain tells your body that you cannot get back up as there is no point in moving.

Thanks Nobber i can not imagine that must be terrible. What gets you over it,is it rest or do you never really get over it ?

 

[Nobber]

Thanks Nobber i can not imagine that must be terrible. What gets you over it,is it rest or do you never really get over it ?

I have Anhedonia which is slightly different. personally I am always nuts 🙂.

Obviously there are times in your life when things get bad, then you feel worse!

 

[sussexrob]

I have Anhedonia which is slightly different. personally I am always nuts 🙂.

Obviously there are times in your life when things get bad, then you feel worse![/QUOTE

Thanks Nobber for being so honest just been looking at your condition and it says you do not get enjoyment from most things . If i may give you a piece of advice what the hell are you doing supporting PNE nothing but heartbreak .

Messing about a side it must be tough for you and all of you're family . I wish you all the best mate in you're struggle what can i say keep fighting .

 

[Lord Edgington]

It's a physical feeling. You lose all energy, completely gone. It's as though existing takes all your effort. You sit down and it's as though your brain tells your body that you cannot get back up as there is no point in moving.

I feel like that when we get in another play off!!!

Seriously I trust reading between the lines of the candour in your posts that life is treating you well these days?

 

[Nobber]

I have Anhedonia which is slightly different. personally I am always nuts 🙂.

Obviously there are times in your life when things get bad, then you feel worse![/QUOTE

Thanks Nobber for being so honest just been looking at your condition and it says you do not get enjoyment from most things . If i may give you a piece of advice what the hell are you doing supporting PNE nothing but heartbreak .

Messing about a side it must be tough for you and all of you're family . I wish you all the best mate in you're struggle what can i say keep fighting .

Anhedonia isn't that black and white to be honest. I do feel pleasure (my sex life is ace......... Granted I'm usually on my own, but it is ace), in some ways it may be intensified. For example I have been with my wife since I was very young, because I am conscious that I am different I know that we went through many years where we knew something was wrong, but she stood by me and she was the one that talked me through it. Therefore I see others who spend time trying to get away from their wife's where I have to be by her side, for that I am truly grateful.

The hardest thing for her is regarding other emotions.

I cannot compute when something is offensive for example. It's like having visual torretts. If someone has no hair, I tell them. Bad jumper, I tell them. I don't realise I am doing it, luckily all my mates know so they think it's hilarious.

The other bad one is fear apparently, she worries as I don't have much concept of stuff going wrong. If it all kicks off I stand there like a plank awaiting the inevitable slap.

It's a hard one to explain. Let's just say most people find me entertaining!

 

[Guinness]

If anyone wants a chat about anything feel free to PM me.

 

[Unregistered]

Over the last year my girlfriend of just over 2 years ended our relationship. I've kept in contact with her by professing my love to her which is met by the same stone cold response of she's no longer in love with me. Little under a month ago I cut all contact with her as she'd lowered my self esteem to zero. This is a hard process for me as I continue to think about her in my daily life, still reminisce about the past with her and still 'plan' for the future including her.

It has also been my last year of university. I have taken four years to do a three year course because of my lack of effort last year. This year I have had very few acquaintances left at the university and so have buried my head in books at the library in order to finish my exams and pass my degree. I've lived with a housemate from hell who would make me feel awful for, generally, not being in the house enough. This housemate was not a university friend, just someone I'd met in the area. He had constant digs at me and my personality because I wasn't a fulfilling friend for him.

In late April I started throwing up on a daily basis. I would be awoken by the need to throw up and this process lasted 22 days before I saw the doctor. She diagnosed me with a stomach ulcer and I have been on medication for this since. Having the ulcer prevented me from doing my exams in May and so I now have to wait until August to finish my degree.

I have moved back home to Preston with my family now. I am working three days a week in a job where I feel like I'm valued less than the printer. Every day I come home and I feel like shit. I want to get away from everybody, not have to deal with speaking to people and hiding myself in my room. I have very few friends remaining in Preston and so in the last month I have left my house twice for reasons other than work. I am depressed. Life isn't what I expected it to be, I can't find meaning in anything that I do, and I struggle to believe that my presence has a positive effect on anybody or any situation.

My mum wants me to go and see the doctor. This will doubtless see me prescribed anti depressants which I've heard awful things about. From experience, what are the right ways to go about feeling better about myself and the things I'm doing in life?

Please help.

I don't profess to be an expert on mental health or that my advice will help so I will keep it short and sweet.

Try taking things in small steps - I often worry and get stressed about the 'here and now' in life, and when I do I try to envisage what life will be like in 3, 6 or even 12 months time. This helps me as it makes me realise that things can and do change, yes it maybe a rocky or tough journey along the way, but there is a 'way out' and whilst it may not seem it right now things will and do get better.

I know that's probably a very basic approach to things, but it does help me so hope it can be of some help to you.

Hope things have improved since you posted.