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Spa Break

Spa Break

Pearson needs. Anger management, Brown needs speed awareness and Robinson needs the super models oneday course in satin glovewearing.
 
diggerb said:
Spa break !!
Ffs no one on this forum should know what that is, its the first question on the membership form, all persons on this thread admitting knowledge should be banned.
What is a spa break by the way.
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It means shopping a Aldi or Lidl, instead.:gentry:
 
diggerb said:
Spa break !!
Ffs no one on this forum should know what that is, its the first question on the membership form, all persons on this thread admitting knowledge should be banned.
What is a spa break by the way.
Click to expand...

A spa break is the ultimate test of self-control.

Imagine you’re at the Rockliffe Hall spa (where Middlesbrough’s training facility is too), and it’s cold, dark and snowing and you’re in one of the outdoor whirlpools with your missus when out of the door comes a hen party of very attractive thirty-somethings in bikinis.

They are all giggling and heady on champagne, and taking turns to enter to pool via the steps opposite you; some forwards and some backwards. The sign says a maximum of eight people, but there’s ten of them squeezing you in to a group of twelve.

They start to discuss, in painfully exquisite detail, the options for the bride to entertain her husband to be, recounting their own, real-life personal experiences, offering enthusiastic advice accompanied by the odd wide-eyed gasp and fits of laughter.

And as the collective group decides it’s time to move back inside to the aromatic sauna via the bar for more champagne, a slow, deliberate exodus of arched-backs-up-the-pool-stairs and sharp intakes of breath as they hit the cold air ensues, and throughout it all my friend, you steel yourself to never once let your gaze wander, or your mundane, polite conversation with your wife falter.

That is the test required to prove one’s ability to remain a Northender through years of trials and tribulations. It should be mandatory to pass this test before being allowed to join the forum. A modern day version of the Grasshopper rice-paper trial to prove oneself.
 
diggerb said:
Spa break !!
Ffs no one on this forum should know what that is, its the first question on the membership form, all persons on this thread admitting knowledge should be banned.
What is a spa break by the way.
Click to expand...

Bit like a hotel but at a spa reception they have pebbles
 
Papplewick N.E. said:
A spa break is the ultimate test of self-control.

Imagine you’re at the Rockliffe Hall spa (where Middlesbrough’s training facility is too), and it’s cold, dark and snowing and you’re in one of the outdoor whirlpools with your missus when out of the door comes a hen party of very attractive thirty-somethings in bikinis.

They are all giggling and heady on champagne, and taking turns to enter to pool via the steps opposite you; some forwards and some backwards. The sign says a maximum of eight people, but there’s ten of them squeezing you in to a group of twelve.

They start to discuss, in painfully exquisite detail, the options for the bride to entertain her husband to be, recounting their own, real-life personal experiences, offering enthusiastic advice accompanied by the odd wide-eyed gasp and fits of laughter.

And as the collective group decides it’s time to move back inside to the aromatic sauna via the bar for more champagne, a slow, deliberate exodus of arched-backs-up-the-pool-stairs and sharp intakes of breath as they hit the cold air ensues, and throughout it all my friend, you steel yourself to never once let your gaze wander, or your mundane, polite conversation with your wife falter.

That is the test required to prove one’s ability to remain a Northender through years of trials and tribulations. It should be mandatory to pass this test before being allowed to join the forum. A modern day version of the Grasshopper rice-paper trial to prove oneself.
Click to expand...

this definitely deserves a 🙂
 
Papplewick N.E. said:
A spa break is the ultimate test of self-control.

Imagine you’re at the Rockliffe Hall spa (where Middlesbrough’s training facility is too), and it’s cold, dark and snowing and you’re in one of the outdoor whirlpools with your missus when out of the door comes a hen party of very attractive thirty-somethings in bikinis.

They are all giggling and heady on champagne, and taking turns to enter to pool via the steps opposite you; some forwards and some backwards. The sign says a maximum of eight people, but there’s ten of them squeezing you in to a group of twelve.

They start to discuss, in painfully exquisite detail, the options for the bride to entertain her husband to be, recounting their own, real-life personal experiences, offering enthusiastic advice accompanied by the odd wide-eyed gasp and fits of laughter.

And as the collective group decides it’s time to move back inside to the aromatic sauna via the bar for more champagne, a slow, deliberate exodus of arched-backs-up-the-pool-stairs and sharp intakes of breath as they hit the cold air ensues, and throughout it all my friend, you steel yourself to never once let your gaze wander, or your mundane, polite conversation with your wife falter.

That is the test required to prove one’s ability to remain a Northender through years of trials and tribulations. It should be mandatory to pass this test before being allowed to join the forum. A modern day version of the Grasshopper rice-paper trial to prove oneself.
Click to expand...

Ha ha, well you got me visualising 😎
 
Papplewick N.E. said:
A spa break is the ultimate test of self-control.

Imagine you’re at the Rockliffe Hall spa (where Middlesbrough’s training facility is too), and it’s cold, dark and snowing and you’re in one of the outdoor whirlpools with your missus when out of the door comes a hen party of very attractive thirty-somethings in bikinis.

They are all giggling and heady on champagne, and taking turns to enter to pool via the steps opposite you; some forwards and some backwards. The sign says a maximum of eight people, but there’s ten of them squeezing you in to a group of twelve.

They start to discuss, in painfully exquisite detail, the options for the bride to entertain her husband to be, recounting their own, real-life personal experiences, offering enthusiastic advice accompanied by the odd wide-eyed gasp and fits of laughter.

And as the collective group decides it’s time to move back inside to the aromatic sauna via the bar for more champagne, a slow, deliberate exodus of arched-backs-up-the-pool-stairs and sharp intakes of breath as they hit the cold air ensues, and throughout it all my friend, you steel yourself to never once let your gaze wander, or your mundane, polite conversation with your wife falter.

That is the test required to prove one’s ability to remain a Northender through years of trials and tribulations. It should be mandatory to pass this test before being allowed to join the forum. A modern day version of the Grasshopper rice-paper trial to prove oneself.
Click to expand...

To be fair you had me at "Heady" Nice piece of prose one that deserves to be the subject of my last post on this forum !!🙂
 
Dirty Harry said:
Sod the spa break. I'd suggest some warm weather traing in Gran Canaria, or maybe even the Bahamas. I'd go along personally, just to keep an eye on the training and to make sure the players aren't stealing taxis and stuff like that. A couple of weeks should be enough.
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That's what will happen when they bring in the two week winter break with a couple of games thrown in to boost the coffers.
 
diggerb said:
Spa break !!
Ffs no one on this forum should know what that is, its the first question on the membership form, all persons on this thread admitting knowledge should be banned.
What is a spa break by the way.
Click to expand...

A trip down to the corner shop away from couch for a butter pie and a four pack.
 
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