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- Jul 12, 2004
- Messages
- 6,632
The Councelling would hopefully allow you to find a way to do that and also help you in the aftermath.
I do know how hard it is, cos I’ve been there. It’s harder than anything and hurts like hell 😪
Advice needed
I do know how hard it is, cos I’ve been there. It’s harder than anything and hurts like hell 😪
If you're waiting for that, you'll never leave her. The only way you're going to build your strength back up now is by leaving her.
You need to do what is right for you and your child. If you need to find conviction to leave her, just look at your child's face and imagine telling them what you're telling all of us right now.
I get that mate. You're right
That’s just cruel and rubbing your nose in it, from where I’m standing.
Look forward. Be proud of who you are and make the best decision for you. You deserve better.
Good man. Nothing to be ashamed about, there's plenty of us on here who have gone down the therapy route. And it's the sign of a strong person to realise they need help. Good luck, and don't give up if they're not the right therapist for you.
Nowt to be ashamed of. Best thing I ever for myself did was attend counselling. You'll feel better for it in the long run even if it's painful and uncomfortable along the way.
You see as weak what is probably the strongest thing you've done in this process. That's what you need help to wrap your head around
I went to counselling for ages. I’m not ashamed to say that at all. It helped me because I just blurted everything out.
If it doesn’t help, so what, you won’t feel any worse that’s for sure.
Give it a go. Just go with the attitude of getting it out there and see how you feel. Oh and remember that they are not allowed to repeat anything you tell them. Total confidentiality.
Never be ashamed of counselling, I have had that and it worked a treat.
Also it is strange how life works, I left my girlfriend many years ago, I was at my lowest ebb,
No partner, no money and quite a lot of debt,.
I didn't look for love or anything and ended up with my wife, who I love to bits.
Still not sure how that happened, but my advice is, you know what needs to be done.
Seek the help that is available and follow the advice you want.
And most importantly, do not hate yourself or feel ashamed.
Also it is strange how life works, I left my girlfriend many years ago, I was at my lowest ebb,
No partner, no money and quite a lot of debt,.
I didn't look for love or anything and ended up with my wife, who I love to bits.
Still not sure how that happened, but my advice is, you know what needs to be done.
Seek the help that is available and follow the advice you want.
And most importantly, do not hate yourself or feel ashamed.
Unless he admits to terrorism, money laundering or drug trafficking 🤣!
Always found it bizarre that murder and child abuse don't make that list but money laundering and drug trafficking do.
The above is brilliant advice @DSPP, don't go with any expectations but simply the attitude that Nobber suggests.
Do you have a contact for her parents mate?
If so, block her number and sort child arrangements through them. You don't have to tell them anything apart from the fact you're not prepared to deal with her right now.
I don't want to do that. I'm only delaying inevitable hurt. If I face it now it can only get better
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2004
- Messages
- 6,632
Absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed about. Counselling is for the brave and strong. We’ll done in taking that step. We are all proud of you. Not one of the above blokes, who have had counselling, is soft. Not one.
Talk to the councillor like you have done to us. But there, you can be completely open and honest and tell them things you wouldn’t share on here. Over time, you can go on a complete life journey, looking at every aspect of your life. It can be quite liberating. You go as far as you want. You are in control.
You May find it embarrassing or even scary, but rest assured, they are well trained to and used to that sort of thing. They will coax you to talk and coach you along the way. You will quite likely cry bucket loads of tears. Again, that is absolutely fine and quite normal for lots of people. You are grieving a lost love.
As said above, if you’re not completely comfortable with your councillor, try a different one. (I had 3 before feeling confident with the one I stayed with).
I've kept out of this as there's been plenty people giving you good advice, but I just had to respond to this.
I'm not going to tell you not to feel ashamed and weak, because I know it doesn't work like that and you can't switch emotions just like that. However, just know that nobody else sees you as shameful or weak for seeing a counsellor, in fact it's the total opposite. It takes strength to seek help, and the counsellor will absolutely be able to reassure you of this. You'd be surprised how much people respect you for recognising the need for help and going ahead with it. Taken from experience of committing myself to a psych rehab clinic for 3 weeks last year, and believe me, there's no way anyone I know would have thought I'd do that.
I’ve had counselling too. It helped me understand why I felt like I did, as a doctor said to me it’s easy to go to a doctor and say I’ve got a broken leg. It’s much more difficult to say you have problems that are not so obvious. It’s good that you have taken that step, good luck 👍
I’ve had counselling as well for how I related to other people. Dysfunctional responses that we explored through my consistent loss of people.