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Help Required

Help Required

stf4ever

stf4ever

Ridsdale's Retirement Party
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
8,482
Location
with the 'rents
I don't really know where to start this, I'm still in a state of shock.

My first child is due in 7 weeks. And, unfortunately, I've just had a phonecall in the last hour to tell me that I've got testicular cancer.

I've already spent the last 2 weeks living with anxiety, but that has now reached a new level having been told the news. I'm well aware that the likelihood is that I'm going to require chemotherapy and that will stop me from being able to see my child.

My heads all over the place. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. Cheers.
 
Wow, stf, Every credit for asking us for help. That takes real guts.
My advice would be to speak to the medical professionals who are treating you. Write your questions/worries down before you speak to them.
If you know what the plan is, you can work round it.
Don't, repeat don't take notice of some of the quack remedies on line and on social media.
It goes without saying to include your partner in every conversation.
Good luck.
 
stf4ever said:
I don't really know where to start this, I'm still in a state of shock.

My first child is due in 7 weeks. And, unfortunately, I've just had a phonecall in the last hour to tell me that I've got testicular cancer.

I've already spent the last 2 weeks living with anxiety, but that has now reached a new level having been told the news. I'm well aware that the likelihood is that I'm going to require chemotherapy and that will stop me from being able to see my child.

My heads all over the place. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. Cheers.
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Gobsmacked....... I've had plenty of shit flung at me in life but nothing like that...Can't possibly offer advise as I've never experienced anything like it but I can tell you one thing.... You're a very strong poster and character on here and I know for a fact that you'll get through it... Feel free to PM mate, sometimes a chat helps.
 
stf4ever said:
I don't really know where to start this, I'm still in a state of shock.

My first child is due in 7 weeks. And, unfortunately, I've just had a phonecall in the last hour to tell me that I've got testicular cancer.

I've already spent the last 2 weeks living with anxiety, but that has now reached a new level having been told the news. I'm well aware that the likelihood is that I'm going to require chemotherapy and that will stop me from being able to see my child.

My heads all over the place. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. Cheers.
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Fucks sake!!

I wont even pretend to have any advice but, bloody hell, ive a massive man hug for you!
 
stf4ever said:
I don't really know where to start this, I'm still in a state of shock.

My first child is due in 7 weeks. And, unfortunately, I've just had a phonecall in the last hour to tell me that I've got testicular cancer.

I've already spent the last 2 weeks living with anxiety, but that has now reached a new level having been told the news. I'm well aware that the likelihood is that I'm going to require chemotherapy and that will stop me from being able to see my child.

My heads all over the place. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. Cheers.
Click to expand...
Hopefully someone will be able to give sage advice. Unfortunately i can’t but wishing you all the best and you’ll be in my prayers.
 
Echoing SSS, first thing you do is take a breath, think about everything important to you, right down all the questions around it down, and speak to your medical team

After that, you ask them to break down all the information you need about your diagnosis, include type of cancer, staging, treatment, prognosis, and you write that down next because you won’t take all of it in

Then, if you want, you ask to be referred to the Macmillan nurses so you’ve got someone to ask about non-medical worries when you need them and to help you think up plans for a support network

Next, and it sounds really daft, but you slowly try and view the whole picture pragmatically once you’ve got all the information you need. Don’t rush to worse case scenario. Don’t know the specifics of your case, but remember that generally, cancer is far from the death sentence it once was. If we go even more generally, testicular cancer - especially in young men like you - is one of the most curable cancers

Finally, remember chemotherapy is not necessarily a certainty. Depending on severity, surgery may be sufficient. Radiotherapy may be sufficient. Early stage testicular tumours sometimes only require one dose of chemo and that’s it
But even if you do, why will that stop you seeing your kid? Yes you’ll have days where you’ve got to go to appointments, and you’ll have days where you’re knackered. But it won’t stop you just sitting with him/her on you lap in a chair. Still spending valuable time together. As far as I’m aware, you having chemo isn’t a risk to your kid or partner

Slow progress, systematic progress, and plan every step with advice from your healthcare team and support network. Positives, not negatives. Focusing on the negatives slows down recovery, focusing on the positives scientifically speeds it up
 
jamesOB said:
Echoing SSS, first thing you do is take a breath, think about everything important to you, right down all the questions around it down, and speak to your medical team

After that, you ask them to break down all the information you need about your diagnosis, include type of cancer, staging, treatment, prognosis, and you write that down next because you won’t take all of it in

Then, if you want, you ask to be referred to the Macmillan nurses so you’ve got someone to ask about non-medical worries when you need them and to help you think up plans for a support network

Next, and it sounds really daft, but you slowly try and view the whole picture pragmatically once you’ve got all the information you need. Don’t rush to worse case scenario. Don’t know the specifics of your case, but remember that generally, cancer is far from the death sentence it once was. If we go even more generally, testicular cancer - especially in young men like you - is one of the most curable cancers

Finally, remember chemotherapy is not necessarily a certainty. Depending on severity, surgery may be sufficient. Radiotherapy may be sufficient. Early stage testicular tumours sometimes only require one dose of chemo and that’s it
But even if you do, why will that stop you seeing your kid? Yes you’ll have days where you’ve got to go to appointments, and you’ll have days where you’re knackered. But it won’t stop you just sitting with him/her on you lap in a chair. Still spending valuable time together. As far as I’m aware, you having chemo isn’t a risk to your kid or partner

Slow progress, systematic progress, and plan every step with advice from your healthcare team and support network. Positives, not negatives. Focusing on the negatives slows down recovery, focusing on the positives scientifically speeds it up
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That came out more like War and Peace than I intended. Soz 😅
 
Thanks for all the nice and kind words gents, they're much appreciated. As you can imagine the mind has already started racing with the worst case scenario, and I'm in a battle to find some strength, not only for me but also for my heavily pregnant partner. Also feel guilty for putting her through this at this stage.

I thought that the baby would put me at risk whilst on chemo, but having spoken to a close friend who's also had testicular cancer, that may not be the case so that's at least one positive.

Some great advice about writing down my questions, thank you for that. Any other tips like that are tremendously appreciated.
 
Holy shit. There's not a lot I can offer in terms of advice but having just read your reply, please don't feel guilty or bad about it. I know testicular cancer is one of the most treatable so hold onto that positive.

I wish you all the best in your treatment and hope you'll make a speedy recovery.
 
stf4ever said:
Thanks for all the nice and kind words gents, they're much appreciated. As you can imagine the mind has already started racing with the worst case scenario, and I'm in a battle to find some strength, not only for me but also for my heavily pregnant partner. Also feel guilty for putting her through this at this stage.

I thought that the baby would put me at risk whilst on chemo, but having spoken to a close friend who's also had testicular cancer, that may not be the case so that's at least one positive.

Some great advice about writing down my questions, thank you for that. Any other tips like that are tremendously appreciated.
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Keep talking:
1.To your partner
2. To anyone in your medical team you can get in contact with.
3. To us.
You are a strong willed person I've read back through some of your posts. Use that strength and that of those around you to fight this evil disease.We're all right behind you.
 
Firstly don’t make any rash decisions. You’ll be here for the next few weeks before the kid arrives and also for a very long time after they do. As others say the prognosis with this tends to be on the positive side so that’s a win already.

Make sure your partner is ok most of all, then speak to whoever they have given you details for, to get an understanding of what lies ahead.

And most of all don’t be a stranger. I’m sure there are some on here who have been through the same predicament albeit not in same circumstances.

But you’ll get through this. Keep talking. Incredibly brave and intelligent to have done what you have already. We’re all with you
 
stf4ever said:
I don't really know where to start this, I'm still in a state of shock.

My first child is due in 7 weeks. And, unfortunately, I've just had a phonecall in the last hour to tell me that I've got testicular cancer.

I've already spent the last 2 weeks living with anxiety, but that has now reached a new level having been told the news. I'm well aware that the likelihood is that I'm going to require chemotherapy and that will stop me from being able to see my child.

My heads all over the place. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. Cheers.
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It won't stop you stf, just make sure you let the consultant know about the birth of your child. If it's early stage, you shouldn't have many problems, and routine nowadays.
I know it might sound flippant, offering that advice, but I have spent ten years undergoing cancer treatments, stage 4, and I am here posting.

I know it is frightening when you hear the cancer word. Early stage treatment shouldn't interfere with your life much, try to stay positive, let the oncologist know it is important you are there for the birth of your child, and they will try and make sure you can be there.

Good luck and keep strong, it's a battle, but a winnable one.
 
PS: There are support services at the hospital, MacMillan and such, there is usually more than one support group, try and find the one best for you, they can tell you everything you need to know about your treatment and help with any anxieties you may have. They will make sure they are contactable at any time, and talk you through the treatments and any concerns you have.
 
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Whilst I cant offer much other than my very best wishes, I echo the advice from the folk ^^^^^
One thing I would say, explore avenues where you may be able to claim financial help. Ie carers allowance, DLA, PIP. You will hopefully only need them temporarily, but they may be important at some stage of you beating the cancer.
This cancer will be beaten by you, with the help of loved ones, family and friends. 💙
 
stf4ever said:
I don't really know where to start this, I'm still in a state of shock.

My first child is due in 7 weeks. And, unfortunately, I've just had a phonecall in the last hour to tell me that I've got testicular cancer.

I've already spent the last 2 weeks living with anxiety, but that has now reached a new level having been told the news. I'm well aware that the likelihood is that I'm going to require chemotherapy and that will stop me from being able to see my child.

My heads all over the place. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated. Cheers.
Click to expand...
Good morning, stf,
just had another look at your OP.
You've not been diagnosed with testicular cancer. Oh, no you haven't.
You are LIVING WITH testicular cancer. You have to tell yourself that, and ask others to describe your condition like that.
Whatever you do, don't hide away from it, Your fight back starts today, and you've got more people with you today than you had yesterday..
 
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