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Malcy16

Malcy16

Joined
May 5, 2011
Messages
1,034
Location
Wakefield
Hello all,

Not sure what I want to get out of this post but perhaps just posting it might help.

Over Christmas I was lucky enough to see my family, we weren't last year due to covid.
I ended up meeting a old primary school pal which I'd lost touch with as our mothers are still good friends. It will have been over 18 years or so since we last saw each other and obviously our lives have changed since then. We've both grown up (Obviously!) and we have both got married and had kids.

When we met up we had a brief chat about what we were doing with our lives now and it was a good chat. But during the chat I felt like I hadn't progressed at all, in fact I felt like I was still the little kid back then. Yes I'm what you call a 'grown up' now and I do what everyone else does but we talked about the old times. About how we used to play footy on the park wearing football tops, how we used to play video games. However since then I collect football shirts and I'm more invested than ever in video games these days. I actively talk North End, football shirts and video games on social media.

I guess I felt embarrassed that I'm still interested in these things now as I was back then. I felt like I hadn't progressed. I also explained my work situation which involves working with my father which I really enjoy. Although he was pleasant enough to talk to I felt like my old School friend just thought of me as the same as I was back then.

Football shirts and video games. I don't know why I like them so much, my parents were never that keen on video games as they'd rather me play sports or go out with mates etc - I can tell they still don't love it when I mention them now. I've always liked them and enjoyed playing with them and I tend to keep up with the industry and like to say I'm knowledgable about them. With football shirts it started off with getting North End shirts as a child yet I started to like other tops. I just collected random shirts however I'd get questioned about what team I supported when I wore different tops. Over the years I've collected I've had Man United, Arsenal, Everton, Man City, Spurs, Leeds, Bristol Rovers and Fulham shirts to name a few as well as North Ends latest shirt. I'm limited on space so I tend to sell ones I don't wear anymore but with regards to English clubs I only own North End now because of the grief I get from people questioning who I actually support. Decided to collect Italian team shirts instead as that's easier to explain to people I digress.

I spoke to my wife about it and she said about how far we've come together over the past 8 years or so. Buying our first home, our son being born, our two brilliant albeit annoying dogs etc. This is the real progress.

I've felt a bit low about it since the start of 2022 however I'm starting to come around more to it now and being accepting of who I am and what I'm interested in. If others don't like the stuff I like and give me a hard time about it then its probably not the best to have them in your life etc.

Anyway just thought I'd share - The ramblings of a 30 year old! Ha

Also there's one shirt I've had since the very start which I'll never sell - North End home kit 2000-2002. All white with a collar, Baxi sponsor and made by Bloggs. I had one but also my dad had one too so his now fits me although the shirts were a lot more baggy back then!
 
Malcy16 said:
Hello all,

Not sure what I want to get out of this post but perhaps just posting it might help.

Over Christmas I was lucky enough to see my family, we weren't last year due to covid.
I ended up meeting a old primary school pal which I'd lost touch with as our mothers are still good friends. It will have been over 18 years or so since we last saw each other and obviously our lives have changed since then. We've both grown up (Obviously!) and we have both got married and had kids.

When we met up we had a brief chat about what we were doing with our lives now and it was a good chat. But during the chat I felt like I hadn't progressed at all, in fact I felt like I was still the little kid back then. Yes I'm what you call a 'grown up' now and I do what everyone else does but we talked about the old times. About how we used to play footy on the park wearing football tops, how we used to play video games. However since then I collect football shirts and I'm more invested than ever in video games these days. I actively talk North End, football shirts and video games on social media.

I guess I felt embarrassed that I'm still interested in these things now as I was back then. I felt like I hadn't progressed. I also explained my work situation which involves working with my father which I really enjoy. Although he was pleasant enough to talk to I felt like my old School friend just thought of me as the same as I was back then.

Football shirts and video games. I don't know why I like them so much, my parents were never that keen on video games as they'd rather me play sports or go out with mates etc - I can tell they still don't love it when I mention them now. I've always liked them and enjoyed playing with them and I tend to keep up with the industry and like to say I'm knowledgable about them. With football shirts it started off with getting North End shirts as a child yet I started to like other tops. I just collected random shirts however I'd get questioned about what team I supported when I wore different tops. Over the years I've collected I've had Man United, Arsenal, Everton, Man City, Spurs, Leeds, Bristol Rovers and Fulham shirts to name a few as well as North Ends latest shirt. I'm limited on space so I tend to sell ones I don't wear anymore but with regards to English clubs I only own North End now because of the grief I get from people questioning who I actually support. Decided to collect Italian team shirts instead as that's easier to explain to people I digress.

I spoke to my wife about it and she said about how far we've come together over the past 8 years or so. Buying our first home, our son being born, our two brilliant albeit annoying dogs etc. This is the real progress.

I've felt a bit low about it since the start of 2022 however I'm starting to come around more to it now and being accepting of who I am and what I'm interested in. If others don't like the stuff I like and give me a hard time about it then its probably not the best to have them in your life etc.

Anyway just thought I'd share - The ramblings of a 30 year old! Ha

Also there's one shirt I've had since the very start which I'll never sell - North End home kit 2000-2002. All white with a collar, Baxi sponsor and made by Bloggs. I had one but also my dad had one too so his now fits me although the shirts were a lot more baggy back then!
Click to expand...
I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. This sentence in particular struck a chord "I'm starting to come around more to it now and being accepting of who I am and what I'm interested in." - we're all different, have different values, goals and interests. If you found yours when you were young then there's nothing wrong in it. My son has always loved Lego, and for a while as he grew up I thought maybe he should be growing out of this, but I quickly realised it's something he loves and who am I to tell him otherwise! So this year (he's now 16 and in college) we bought him one of the biggest sets he's had for Christmas. He absolutely loved it. In contrast I hated my job for 15 years or so, was always angry. I then had some counselling just after I'd started back at Uni aged 38 and now feel in a much better place. I think the changes I made, ironically, allowed me to be more true to who I am, rather than just going through the motions. Different strokes and all that, but good to talk about it.
 
I don't think you've anything to apologise for or feel embarrassed about. It's what makes you happy and always has done and that's a huge part of who you were and who you still are. I'm fairly certain a large factor in my divorce was I'd changed over time and given up some of the things I did enjoy a lot for the sake of an easy life and just because of people I was around. Helped me rationalise why I was unhappy with life and rediscovering a lot of those things has helped me get through that phase and realise just what I'd lost. Maybe if I hadn't given the stuff up in the first place, who knows.

You've spoken it through both with someone you are very close to and someone you hadn't spoken to in decades and come to the conclusion you like what you do, and who you are now, and you still have your passion for those interests. I'd say you are winning at life in that respect. Keep being you and doing what you enjoy
 
Don't be too hard on yourself - if you're married, have a kid and feel you're being a good husband and parent most of all then you're doing just fine! Life can be tough and there's nothing whatsoever wrong a bit of escapism and "staying young" provided you get the basic fundamentals of being a "grown up" right!
 
Better to be and act like a big kid in your spare time than ending up being a boring bastard. 👍

Video Games these days are like mini movies and you're the director. Your mate, when you spoke of video games, probably thinks they are still Manic Miner type games on a Speccy 48k!! I bet he played Snake on his Nokia 3310 though! 😂

Crack on enjoying yourself fella. 💪
 
Malcy16 said:
I spoke to my wife about it and she said about how far we've come together over the past 8 years or so. Buying our first home, our son being born, our two brilliant albeit annoying dogs etc. This is the real progress.

I've felt a bit low about it since the start of 2022 however I'm starting to come around more to it now and being accepting of who I am and what I'm interested in. If others don't like the stuff I like and give me a hard time about it then its probably not the best to have them in your life etc.
Click to expand...

The key part of what you wrote probably. Wife, kid, home, family life, that's huge.

Keep on doing whatever it is that makes you happy is all I would say. I'm sure we all have these things that surround our 'main' lives that might appear odd or unusual to others. Who cares? People don't tend to actually, so I bet your old mate didn't think any of the things you thought he did.

I listened to the David Wheater Undr The Cosh podcast the other day and he still collects and plays with wrestling figures which I thought was absolutely brilliant. I often look at my lads collection and think about setting up one more Royal Rumble event like I used to 🙂
 
Tino said:
The key part of what you wrote probably. Wife, kid, home, family life, that's huge.

Keep on doing whatever it is that makes you happy is all I would say. I'm sure we all have these things that surround our 'main' lives that might appear odd or unusual to others. Who cares? People don't tend to actually, so I bet your old mate didn't think any of the things you thought he did.

I listened to the David Wheater Undr The Cosh podcast the other day and he still collects and plays with wrestling figures which I thought was absolutely brilliant. I often look at my lads collection and think about setting up one more Royal Rumble event like I used to 🙂
Click to expand...
Ha ha. My brother always insisted he'd never grow out of WWE. In fairness he hasn't!
 
Interesting thread.

Especially on a forum where most of us would consider North End to be a hobby that we've had since we were young.

@Tino mentioned it above and he's spot on, most people really don't have much of an opinion on others lives, your mate won't care much about what you're into and neither should you, if it makes you happy, just do you.
 
Malcy16 said:
Hello all,

Not sure what I want to get out of this post but perhaps just posting it might help.

Over Christmas I was lucky enough to see my family, we weren't last year due to covid.
I ended up meeting a old primary school pal which I'd lost touch with as our mothers are still good friends. It will have been over 18 years or so since we last saw each other and obviously our lives have changed since then. We've both grown up (Obviously!) and we have both got married and had kids.

When we met up we had a brief chat about what we were doing with our lives now and it was a good chat. But during the chat I felt like I hadn't progressed at all, in fact I felt like I was still the little kid back then. Yes I'm what you call a 'grown up' now and I do what everyone else does but we talked about the old times. About how we used to play footy on the park wearing football tops, how we used to play video games. However since then I collect football shirts and I'm more invested than ever in video games these days. I actively talk North End, football shirts and video games on social media.

I guess I felt embarrassed that I'm still interested in these things now as I was back then. I felt like I hadn't progressed. I also explained my work situation which involves working with my father which I really enjoy. Although he was pleasant enough to talk to I felt like my old School friend just thought of me as the same as I was back then.

Football shirts and video games. I don't know why I like them so much, my parents were never that keen on video games as they'd rather me play sports or go out with mates etc - I can tell they still don't love it when I mention them now. I've always liked them and enjoyed playing with them and I tend to keep up with the industry and like to say I'm knowledgable about them. With football shirts it started off with getting North End shirts as a child yet I started to like other tops. I just collected random shirts however I'd get questioned about what team I supported when I wore different tops. Over the years I've collected I've had Man United, Arsenal, Everton, Man City, Spurs, Leeds, Bristol Rovers and Fulham shirts to name a few as well as North Ends latest shirt. I'm limited on space so I tend to sell ones I don't wear anymore but with regards to English clubs I only own North End now because of the grief I get from people questioning who I actually support. Decided to collect Italian team shirts instead as that's easier to explain to people I digress.

I spoke to my wife about it and she said about how far we've come together over the past 8 years or so. Buying our first home, our son being born, our two brilliant albeit annoying dogs etc. This is the real progress.

I've felt a bit low about it since the start of 2022 however I'm starting to come around more to it now and being accepting of who I am and what I'm interested in. If others don't like the stuff I like and give me a hard time about it then its probably not the best to have them in your life etc.

Anyway just thought I'd share - The ramblings of a 30 year old! Ha

Also there's one shirt I've had since the very start which I'll never sell - North End home kit 2000-2002. All white with a collar, Baxi sponsor and made by Bloggs. I had one but also my dad had one too so his now fits me although the shirts were a lot more baggy back then!
Click to expand...
Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about at all. I'm 37 and also have an active interest in football shirts and video games - the latter is pretty good in helping to unwind and de-stress after a day at work (although depending on what you're playing, those stress levels can go up! 🤣).

Also, these two subjects are a regular topic of conversation amongst a number of 30-somethings at work, so you certainly aren't alone! 🙂
 
Yeah you're definitely not alone...

I'm 33 with two young kids and I still resort to Champ Man 01 02 (using the various updates) and Age of Empires as ways to unwind when I finally get some time to myself in an evening. I also have the football shirt bug, have always loved them and have a collection of various clubs, not just North End. Progress on that front for me is finding a garish 90's keeper top for a steal on ebay or in a charity shop.

I do think that having kids changes your life so much that it's important to retain some things for yourself and that define you. Your interests do absolutely no harm to anyone else in any way, so go for it
 
Malcy16 said:
Hello all,

Not sure what I want to get out of this post but perhaps just posting it might help.

Over Christmas I was lucky enough to see my family, we weren't last year due to covid.
I ended up meeting a old primary school pal which I'd lost touch with as our mothers are still good friends. It will have been over 18 years or so since we last saw each other and obviously our lives have changed since then. We've both grown up (Obviously!) and we have both got married and had kids.

When we met up we had a brief chat about what we were doing with our lives now and it was a good chat. But during the chat I felt like I hadn't progressed at all, in fact I felt like I was still the little kid back then. Yes I'm what you call a 'grown up' now and I do what everyone else does but we talked about the old times. About how we used to play footy on the park wearing football tops, how we used to play video games. However since then I collect football shirts and I'm more invested than ever in video games these days. I actively talk North End, football shirts and video games on social media.

I guess I felt embarrassed that I'm still interested in these things now as I was back then. I felt like I hadn't progressed. I also explained my work situation which involves working with my father which I really enjoy. Although he was pleasant enough to talk to I felt like my old School friend just thought of me as the same as I was back then.

Football shirts and video games. I don't know why I like them so much, my parents were never that keen on video games as they'd rather me play sports or go out with mates etc - I can tell they still don't love it when I mention them now. I've always liked them and enjoyed playing with them and I tend to keep up with the industry and like to say I'm knowledgable about them. With football shirts it started off with getting North End shirts as a child yet I started to like other tops. I just collected random shirts however I'd get questioned about what team I supported when I wore different tops. Over the years I've collected I've had Man United, Arsenal, Everton, Man City, Spurs, Leeds, Bristol Rovers and Fulham shirts to name a few as well as North Ends latest shirt. I'm limited on space so I tend to sell ones I don't wear anymore but with regards to English clubs I only own North End now because of the grief I get from people questioning who I actually support. Decided to collect Italian team shirts instead as that's easier to explain to people I digress.

I spoke to my wife about it and she said about how far we've come together over the past 8 years or so. Buying our first home, our son being born, our two brilliant albeit annoying dogs etc. This is the real progress.

I've felt a bit low about it since the start of 2022 however I'm starting to come around more to it now and being accepting of who I am and what I'm interested in. If others don't like the stuff I like and give me a hard time about it then its probably not the best to have them in your life etc.

Anyway just thought I'd share - The ramblings of a 30 year old! Ha

Also there's one shirt I've had since the very start which I'll never sell - North End home kit 2000-2002. All white with a collar, Baxi sponsor and made by Bloggs. I had one but also my dad had one too so his now fits me although the shirts were a lot more baggy back then!
Click to expand...
I don’t see anything to be concerned about there, Malcy…..assuming you won’t be adding an orange shade of shirt to your collection! 😱🤣
Enjoy life how ever you choose to and be proud of yourself 👍
 
You sound a lot like me in some aspects, but I think we figured out before how we share football shirts as a hobby.

My forms of escapism are football shirts and online window shopping for them (I'm a sucker for eBay, Classicfootballshirts and DHGate), playing FIFA22 and RDR2, going for walks with my son and daughter, filming and travelling, my paracosm (great way of grounding myself in an uncertain world) and looking at Flightradar24 at all the aircrafts... Oh and I love spending time with my wife 🥰🤮😂

Malcy16 said:
I spoke to my wife about it and she said about how far we've come together over the past 8 years or so. Buying our first home, our son being born, our two brilliant albeit annoying dogs etc. This is the real progress
Click to expand...

My wife and I talk about similar things, how much progress we have made together over the past seven years. Having two kids, a car, renting somewhere.

One thing I will say, 'progress', what is progress? Progress to you might be something different to the next person.
Progress for me is the following:
1.) Being better than my father- If we strive to be better than the people who came before us and learn from their mistakes then that is progress
2.) Bringing up a child/children into a loving home and making them the best people that we can.
3.) Making someone truly happy.

Like you, it took me a long time to feel comfortable in my own skin, especially with my wife because I always fear she would think I was a weirdo.
 
Lord Edgington said:
I’m of an age and throughout my life I’ve enjoyed building Lego. It’s cathartic and has an end product so it’s productive also. Never stopped people mocking me though
Click to expand...
That’s because most people used to take it home from Argos before starting to build it
 
pne_monster said:
I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. This sentence in particular struck a chord "I'm starting to come around more to it now and being accepting of who I am and what I'm interested in." - we're all different, have different values, goals and interests. If you found yours when you were young then there's nothing wrong in it. My son has always loved Lego, and for a while as he grew up I thought maybe he should be growing out of this, but I quickly realised it's something he loves and who am I to tell him otherwise! So this year (he's now 16 and in college) we bought him one of the biggest sets he's had for Christmas. He absolutely loved it. In contrast I hated my job for 15 years or so, was always angry. I then had some counselling just after I'd started back at Uni aged 38 and now feel in a much better place. I think the changes I made, ironically, allowed me to be more true to who I am, rather than just going through the motions. Different strokes and all that, but good to talk about it.
Click to expand...
I've got mates in their 40's and 50's who still love lego, and they're not in the slightest bit embarrassed about it.

I'm 46 and still consider myself a skateboarder. I technically haven't skated since I came back to Oz in April 2018, but that's only because I haven't met any skater mates here, and there isn't anywhere close by worth skating. If I came back to Preston for a visit tomorrow I would definitely go skating with my mates back there (I have a board stashed at me mum's house).
 
Just reading all of these messages has certainly put a smile on my face. You lovely bunch!!

Guess it can come down to being a bit insecure about yourself at times. There's always been a hesitation to talk about things I'm passionate about as I worry what others think but I'm becoming more confident in myself which is good.

Thanks again all!

P.S No Blackpool, Burnley or Blackburn shirts will ever be added to the collection!
 
Malcy16 said:
Hello all,

Not sure what I want to get out of this post but perhaps just posting it might help.

Over Christmas I was lucky enough to see my family, we weren't last year due to covid.
I ended up meeting a old primary school pal which I'd lost touch with as our mothers are still good friends. It will have been over 18 years or so since we last saw each other and obviously our lives have changed since then. We've both grown up (Obviously!) and we have both got married and had kids.

When we met up we had a brief chat about what we were doing with our lives now and it was a good chat. But during the chat I felt like I hadn't progressed at all, in fact I felt like I was still the little kid back then. Yes I'm what you call a 'grown up' now and I do what everyone else does but we talked about the old times. About how we used to play footy on the park wearing football tops, how we used to play video games. However since then I collect football shirts and I'm more invested than ever in video games these days. I actively talk North End, football shirts and video games on social media.

I guess I felt embarrassed that I'm still interested in these things now as I was back then. I felt like I hadn't progressed. I also explained my work situation which involves working with my father which I really enjoy. Although he was pleasant enough to talk to I felt like my old School friend just thought of me as the same as I was back then.

Football shirts and video games. I don't know why I like them so much, my parents were never that keen on video games as they'd rather me play sports or go out with mates etc - I can tell they still don't love it when I mention them now. I've always liked them and enjoyed playing with them and I tend to keep up with the industry and like to say I'm knowledgable about them. With football shirts it started off with getting North End shirts as a child yet I started to like other tops. I just collected random shirts however I'd get questioned about what team I supported when I wore different tops. Over the years I've collected I've had Man United, Arsenal, Everton, Man City, Spurs, Leeds, Bristol Rovers and Fulham shirts to name a few as well as North Ends latest shirt. I'm limited on space so I tend to sell ones I don't wear anymore but with regards to English clubs I only own North End now because of the grief I get from people questioning who I actually support. Decided to collect Italian team shirts instead as that's easier to explain to people I digress.

I spoke to my wife about it and she said about how far we've come together over the past 8 years or so. Buying our first home, our son being born, our two brilliant albeit annoying dogs etc. This is the real progress.

I've felt a bit low about it since the start of 2022 however I'm starting to come around more to it now and being accepting of who I am and what I'm interested in. If others don't like the stuff I like and give me a hard time about it then its probably not the best to have them in your life etc.

Anyway just thought I'd share - The ramblings of a 30 year old! Ha

Also there's one shirt I've had since the very start which I'll never sell - North End home kit 2000-2002. All white with a collar, Baxi sponsor and made by Bloggs. I had one but also my dad had one too so his now fits me although the shirts were a lot more baggy back then!
Click to expand...

I can only really repeat the good advice others have said, which is you keep being you, we're only here once, so enjoy it, and forget about what other's may think.

I know of plenty still hooked on computer games beyond your age, it's nothing to be concerned about, if you enjoy them, crack on! 🙂
 
I’d never be embarrassed for who you are and what you enjoy. I am a football geek but have never really been interested in computer games even as a kid. I have some mates who unwind by playing on the consoles and these are senior guys in work.

I’ve always preferred being outdoors and never like spending money on expensive consoles.

I think my love for football is also dwindling a little although wouldn’t want to miss a PNE event
 
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