Has anyone ever felt trapped by a partner? They love them more than anything yet you get treated like dirt by them. You just want them to treat you good and be happy. You know you're better off without them yet the thought of being without them turns your stomach.
Advice needed
I've been in a relationship where because I lived under their roof and because I'd fallen out with family I felt trapped. We used to argue, she used to accuse me of being unfaithful even though I literally had no life aside from being with her. She was physically abusive and emotionally abusive at times.
The truth is I didn't think there was another life possible without her, that if I left I would just end up homeless and screwed.
That was nearly a decade ago. We split up not long after I left.
The truth is your stomach only turns because of the fear of the unknown, because you think a life without them will be a life not worth living. You're probably very emotionally tied to this person.
To know the unknown you have to brace yourself and if you're unhappy, end things.
I promise there is something beyond this, you are better than this and you will have a better life not being treated like this.
Don't let your mental health suffer from being in an abusive, or at the very least unrequited, love.
Apart from the living with family thing (we live apart ) and the physical abuse thing, you have described my situation to a tee. You are also extremely accurate about my feelings and fears. My mates all say the same. But I'm terrified of ending up lonely. Sometimes I feel putting up with this is better than having nobody
Living alone is one of the best perks in the world.
I absolutely love living this way.
100% hassle and stress free.
I absolutely love living this way.
100% hassle and stress free.
The fact you live apart really helps, it creates just enough of a gap.
I know you fear being alone, but I guarantee you will find someone who treats you better, I'm an introvert with strange mental health, a chromosome disorder and undiagnosed Autism and I managed to bag someone who makes me really happy, so believe in better days and better things, because they will come.
You could just stay single, I personally don't cope well being alone after the first few days, I tend to stop eating and go to bed at daft times like 8pm... But anyway, you might fare better.
Either way, don't prolong your own suffering because life is way too short and precious to suffer for someone who won't change, because they probably won't ever change.
Believe in better.
I've been in or wanted relationships that I wanted to badly work out too, you'll one day look back at this and see the wisdom behind why it isn't working but at the moment I can appreciate that things look a mess.
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- Jun 20, 2020
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- 50
Unlikely responder as female and a few decades older than you I am sure but no abuse, we lived on our own together and ultimately I still have a sd
Again, mates say the same. Maybe I should listen
Forgive my ignorance but what does sd mean
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- Jul 12, 2004
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- 6,622
Be aware that if she is a narcissist you will live a life of hell.
You will be controlled, gaslighted, mentally abused, blamed. The list is endless. It will ALWAYS be your fault. She will stop you seeing friends and make you believe you are going nuts. The only way to deal with a narcissist is to leave them or they will destroy you.
Read this below
https://images.app.goo.gl/1ByTYznzMMgVXuQD9
You will be controlled, gaslighted, mentally abused, blamed. The list is endless. It will ALWAYS be your fault. She will stop you seeing friends and make you believe you are going nuts. The only way to deal with a narcissist is to leave them or they will destroy you.
Read this below
https://images.app.goo.gl/1ByTYznzMMgVXuQD9
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2020
- Messages
- 50
My fault I held back and am crap re phone typing and analytical
Sd no meaning point is female, but we are also in it together. I very surely remember the fear of on your own marriage one and am addressing it again now as a allegedly young widow of marriage two . Very different emotions
But still a bit frightened in not physical way of being on my own. That said am doing it and you can too
Ive always said if i split up with my missus im staying on my own, as JD says no hassle 🤣.
Better being alone than abused, clean break, enjoy life, dont go looking for a girl (always find if u go looking you never find anyone meaningful, more leave it to destiny) and before you know it you’ll have to make a choice out of 3 girls.
Better being alone than abused, clean break, enjoy life, dont go looking for a girl (always find if u go looking you never find anyone meaningful, more leave it to destiny) and before you know it you’ll have to make a choice out of 3 girls.
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2019
- Messages
- 4,950
I have just walked away from a marriage for a relatively similar reason. It was a difficult decision but I’ve been in the best place for a long time since. Happy to PM if you needed to talk.
Bardas
Putin – khuylo
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2004
- Messages
- 11,715
I was similarly trapped when a young man. We had a young child ( she lied repeatedly about being on the pill to trap me) and my life was over before it had begun. She attacked me mostly in my sleep, and often went for the eyes. The situation was hopeless.
It`s a long story, but once we went with some friends of hers for a day out in Blackpool. She disappeared with her mate and spent almost all our money whilst I spent most of the day skint with the child. Later..we went to the Zoo. I was so depressed and full of bottled anger. The only thing that kept me going was that I wanted to see the Tigers.
Around the enclosure was a tall fence, with a waist high wire keeping visitor a yard back. A group of bored Tigers lay lethargically on some logs 100 yards away. One of them looked towards us. His eyes were dead, I thought. I was sad that this animal had seemed to shut down, the spirit gone from him. Me too,my friend, I thought. Me too.
Suddenly the tiger met my eyes directly. He stared at me intently. I could FEEL his gaze. And so fast no-one could react, he shot to the fence and hit it half way up, right in front of me ,clinging to the wire. All 9 or 10 foot of him, the fence shaking with the impact.
Then he pissed....all over my wife, soaking her.
I should have been concerned for her.....but had to turn my head away so she could`nt see me laughing. And by coincidence, by my side stood my first love, Janette. We looked into each others eyes as she took in what was happening.The world stood still...and I felt alive again for moment, remembered who I was.
The Tiger showed me the way. Do not give up.
I left her weeks later. It was very painful. I`ve now been married happily for 35 years, and have four wonderful children.
Don`t be trapped, my friend. The gate is open...and always was. Your mind is the prison. Break those chains.
Liberation
Forum Patron
I'm thinking about walking away from my marriage aswell.... One of the highlights of my Christmas are mushroom Vol-Au-Vents.... The wife got the pastry cases but forgot to get the creamed mushroom filling.. And to add insult to injury, I've spent years moaning that I don't want turkey so this year she finally got me a nice piece of chicken breast for myself. She then put all HER vegies ( I'm not keen ) on top of it... By the time she'd swopped it all over our dinner was stone cold. Divorce beckons.
Sorry folks, couldn't resist and I'm in no way trying to make light of serious issues so no offence meant. Bloody women! 😀
Sorry folks, couldn't resist and I'm in no way trying to make light of serious issues so no offence meant. Bloody women! 😀
Mushroom Vo-Au-Vents
And there was me thinking we’ve nothing on common
I think you need to sit down with her and be honest about it. If you keep things like this to yourself it'll just get too much in the end, I mean, look what happened to Phillip Scofield. Don't suffer in silence.
Late entry for post of the year...
If Carlsberg did advice 😂😂😂😂