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Annus Horribilis

Annus Horribilis

Preston Lad said:
So glad to hear!šŸ™‚

Thanks again for the kind words, they are appreciated

He was literally my little best mate and wanted to go everywhere with me.
Now he just completely blanks mešŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļøšŸ˜„
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Itā€™s life passage my friend
Heā€™s off into a siding for a while maybe but he will get on the mainline soon
 
Massive respect to anyone who is open and talking about their issues. Its always incredibly humbling hearing about other peoples troubles and helps get my own gripes into perspective. Thankyou for being so open and honest.

There's a huge amount of good people here and it frequently gets shown time and time again.

There's been some incredible shows of love, respect and support posted in this thread and it's such a shame it takes tough times for it to be shown (if that makes sense??)

Take care @JK and everyone else, I hope better times are just around the corner, or if not, the one after that at least.
 
Lord Edgington said:
Itā€™s life passage my friend
Heā€™s off into a siding for a while maybe but he will get on the mainline soon
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I've been having a rough time with our eldest daughter, nothing like as serious as others but I have cast my mind back to the same age and my dad and I rubbed each other up the wrong way for years.

Now he's the best thing since sliced bread again as I realised it was me that was the knob all along. Just glad I got chance to put it right and apologise.
 
Iā€™ve only just seen this, JK. Wow, what a rough time youā€™ve been having. Thereā€™s no shame in struggling to cope and asking for support, Iā€™m sure there are many more people than you realise who would lend an ear or help out in any way they can. Me, for one.

I always remember my dad telling me ā€œif there were no downs, thereā€™d be no upsā€ and he was right, things will get easier even though it doesnā€™t feel like it when youā€™re in the middle of everything.

Thank you for all you do to keep this place going, I hope you have a peaceful and happy Christmas and that 2025 brings only good things for you and your family.
 
JK said:
Every year, I post a "Christmas message." This year, I hope youā€™ll indulge me with one of a personal nature.

Iā€™ve hesitated to write this post for a while. Many of you are aware that I work for the NHS, specifically in Mental Health, which is why this year has been particularly challenging.

The last few years have been difficult. There have been breakdowns in relationships at home, the impact of COVID, and the challenge of helping three children through GCSEs (with the final one completing theirs this year). This was all while studying, completing postgraduate courses, undergoing high-intensity training, and supporting my wife, who struggles with her own mental healthā€”something that in turn affects mineā€”all on the back of a global pandemic.

This year, however, has been horrid.

It began with an illness I couldnā€™t shake for months, followed by my wife requiring emergency spinal surgery and other health complications. Then, during the summer, my 17-year-old daughter attempted to take her own life twice in a two-week period. That experience honestly rocked my world.

After a long period of crisis support, countless visits to A&E, traveling across towns and cities for help, and enduring endless battles due to the nature of parental responsibility without real control over decisions (she has the right to make her own choices, even if they are unwise), Iā€™ve learned that no amount of training, experience, or knowledge in mental health can fully prepare you for lifeā€™s challenges.

Iā€™ve been on and off antidepressants over the last few years. I donā€™t feel ashamed to say that. Even though I work on the non-medical side of Mental Health, I firmly believe they can be beneficial.

I donā€™t think I have many friends. I know a lot of people, and even more know me because of North End, but at times, it can feel very lonely.

What I am lucky to have, however, is that the few friends I do have have gone above and beyond to support us, alongside our wider family, who have been amazing. My daughter is still not where she needs to be. In fact, she will only be staying with us for a couple of nights soon, as she hasnā€™t wanted to be here for some time. However, sheā€™s doing amazingly well now, and thatā€™s thanks to the support from our friends and family. Five months ago, I didnā€™t think sheā€™d be here this Christmas. Despite the difficulties that lie ahead, thatā€™s something Iā€™m deeply grateful for.

While Iā€™ve had to take a break from my training course and work, both have been incredibly supportive. Iā€™m fortunate to have colleagues, managers, and supervisors who I consider friends. They mean more to me than they know, which is probably due to the career path Iā€™ve takenā€”something inspired by our friend Shaky, who encouraged me to help people.

I am back at work and will finish my course no matter how long it takes.

The thought process behind this post wasnā€™t just to get a lot off my chestā€”things I canā€™t really discuss outside my ā€œbubbleā€ā€”but also to say thank you to everyone on this forum (well, 99% of you šŸ˜‰) for keeping me going.

In 2024, Iā€™ve completed the biggest forum upgrade and redesign ever, which is ongoing. Weā€™ve once again had to increase our server costs due to our popularity.

Seeing the forum described as ā€œtoxicā€ by some individuals stings. Yes, itā€™s not perfect. Yes, we all talk nonsense from time to time, and yes, it can sometimes be a place where frustrations are aired.

However, itā€™s also a force for good. Just look at the Ā£500 weā€™ve raised (so far) for Foxton, on top of the thousands raised for good causes over the last 20 years. We now have PneFlags.net, which funds the flags at Deepdale. This has been a bit of a savior for me this past year. Sure, it would be nice to get some help from time to time, but spending hours alone at Deepdale gives me plenty of time to reflectā€”or distract myself from real life. Sadly, itā€™s been more exciting than most of the football under the previous manager.

I saw one particular response to our letter to the club that said: ā€œShut the fuck up moaning, just watch the game and try supporting the team. No one gives a shit about your flags,ā€ etc. Some of the comments stung. Itā€™s very easy to focus on the negatives and filter out the positives.

Iā€™ve also been hurt by the actions of people who describe me as a ā€œwell-meaning fanā€ while simultaneously questioning my credibility publicly on their business website.

Iā€™m told the club appreciates what Iā€™ve done and continue to do. But do they actually mean it? Have they ever shown it? I donā€™t do it for rewards, but after what happened in November, I canā€™t help but wonder if thereā€™s any point. Maybe I should just attend games and ā€œstop fucking moaning.ā€

Thereā€™s so much more to life than football. Thereā€™s more to life than Preston North End. But if it hadnā€™t been for Preston North End and this forumā€”which you all continue to fundā€”it would have been much harder for me to get through life. So, thank you.

Christmas is like a magnifying glass. For those who are happy and content, it magnifies that joy. For those who are struggling, it can be an especially difficult time.

Either way, keep going, keep reaching out to people, and never give up.
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What a heartfelt post that is John, I donā€™t mind admitting that it has reduced me to tearsā€¦.

All the wonderful things that you have done for OUR Football club whilst having your own personal struggles on multiple levels, is nothing short of amazing.

Please keep up the excellent work that you do on this forum, for a lot of us it is a place that we enjoy frequenting and participating with like minded peopleā€¦

I hope that 2025 is a better year for you and your family šŸ‘šŸ»
 
Ando60 said:
What a heartfelt post that is John, I donā€™t mind admitting that it has reduced me to tearsā€¦.

All the wonderful things that you have done for OUR Football club whilst having your own personal struggles on multiple levels, is nothing short of amazing.

Please keep up the excellent work that you do on this forum, for a lot of us it is a place that we enjoy frequenting and participating with like minded peopleā€¦

I hope that 2025 is a better year for you and your family šŸ‘šŸ»
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I hope you dont include me in the "Likeminded," bit!!

Tory Bastard šŸ˜‰
 
Preston Lad said:
My youngest, heā€™s 14, pretty much hates my guts and does nothing but moan at me, when he does decide to speak to me.šŸ˜„
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I can empathise with this PLā€¦..

My daughter hasnā€™t spoken to me for almost 15 years and she despises me with a passion.

I think there is hope for you , your lads are still relatively young and will soon realise the error of their ways šŸ¤žšŸ»šŸ¤žšŸ»
 
Ando60 said:
I can empathise with this PLā€¦..

My daughter hasnā€™t spoken to me for almost 15 years and she despises me with a passion.

I think there is hope for you , your lads are still relatively young and will soon realise the error of their ways šŸ¤žšŸ»šŸ¤žšŸ»
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Iā€™m very sorry to hear that, Ando. I have a good friend with four kids who want nothing to do with him and I know how tough it is for him.

I think people can still realise the error of their ways and have regrets at any age, my mother walked out and disappeared when I was 13 and I didnā€™t see her again for thirty years. I know she was full of regret for what she did. I also have a sister I havenā€™t seen for ten years and as someone who values family it really hurts, but you have to leave people to make their own choices. Weā€™re all built differently I guess.

Have a merry Christmas and all the best for 2025
 
Ando60 said:
I can empathise with this PLā€¦..

My daughter hasnā€™t spoken to me for almost 15 years and she despises me with a passion.

I think there is hope for you , your lads are still relatively young and will soon realise the error of their ways šŸ¤žšŸ»šŸ¤žšŸ»
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Thanks Ando, Really sorry to hear that palā˜¹ļø
I was saying mine in a sort of jokey way to be fair.
It must be very tough situation for you
Hereā€™s hoping she changes her mind in the near future.
Hope you have a good Christmas šŸ‘šŸ»
 
Gordon Bennett said:
Iā€™m very sorry to hear that, Ando. I have a good friend with four kids who want nothing to do with him and I know how tough it is for him.

I think people can still realise the error of their ways and have regrets at any age, my mother walked out and disappeared when I was 13 and I didnā€™t see her again for thirty years. I know she was full of regret for what she did. I also have a sister I havenā€™t seen for ten years and as someone who values family it really hurts, but you have to leave people to make their own choices. Weā€™re all built differently I guess.

Have a merry Christmas and all the best for 2025
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Cheers GBā€¦.

For those wondering, my only crime was that I fell out of love with her Mum and in love with my current wife ā€¦..

My daughter was very close to her Mum , so took against me on the day that I leftā€¦
On the day that I left the marital home she sent me an email telling me that she would never speak to me again as long as I live !!!

She has been true to her wordā€¦
 
Ando60 said:
Cheers GBā€¦.

For those wondering, my only crime was that I fell out of love with her Mum and in love with my current wife ā€¦..

My daughter was very close to her Mum , so took against me on the day that I leftā€¦
On the day that I left the marital home she sent me an email telling me that she would never speak to me again as long as I live !!!

She has been true to her wordā€¦
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Youā€™ve told me before about the situation but I didnā€™t realise the exact circumstances. Thatā€™s very sad and I truly hope and pray that one day, maybe even at Christmas, thereā€™s a reconciliation.
 
wld said:
Youā€™ve told me before about the situation but I didnā€™t realise the exact circumstances. Thatā€™s very sad and I truly hope and pray that one day, maybe even at Christmas, thereā€™s a reconciliation.
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Cheers WLD šŸ‘šŸ»
 
Ando60 said:
Cheers GBā€¦.

For those wondering, my only crime was that I fell out of love with her Mum and in love with my current wife ā€¦..

My daughter was very close to her Mum , so took against me on the day that I leftā€¦
On the day that I left the marital home she sent me an email telling me that she would never speak to me again as long as I live !!!

She has been true to her wordā€¦
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Where there is love there is always time my friend, but those are just words, from me to you - you are a lovely warm and kind person, our pasts are just that, been and gone, itā€™s the future that we can focus on, carry on as you are and you can do no more
A very happy Christmas to you my friend - god bless
Ps
Iā€™m from bloody Rivington
 
Ando60 said:
Cheers GBā€¦.

For those wondering, my only crime was that I fell out of love with her Mum and in love with my current wife ā€¦..

My daughter was very close to her Mum , so took against me on the day that I leftā€¦
On the day that I left the marital home she sent me an email telling me that she would never speak to me again as long as I live !!!

She has been true to her wordā€¦
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Thatā€™s awful, Ando. I hope you do find some reconciliation one day, it can still happen.

Your story is exactly what happened to my mateā€¦ it doesnā€™t mean youā€™re not a great dad. He doted on his kids and I know money isnā€™t everything, but when he split with his wife he gave her a Ā£7m mansion, and heā€™d already bought his kids a house each. Now none of them will even speak to him. Fortunately, heā€™s very happy with his new family.
 
Lord Edgington said:
Where there is love there is always time my friend, but those are just words, from me to you - you are a lovely warm and kind person, our pasts are just that, been and gone, itā€™s the future that we can focus on, carry on as you are and you can do no more
A very happy Christmas to you my friend - god bless
Ps
Iā€™m from bloody Rivington
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Thanks for those kind words Edgyā€¦. ā¤ļø
 
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