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RIP Shaky

RIP Shaky

raefil said:
Mike, im man enough to admit Im sat here with tears flowing after reading that.

Shaky Rest in Peace mate. Its your day tomorrow and I think many of us going to be very heartbroken.
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Fair play Phil. :thumbsup:

You of course already knew my situation privetely but I thought it was time to 'man-up' go public on this as people should be encouraged to talk about this subject.

I'm still in shock and really have struggled to put things into words over the last few days.
 
I won't be there sadly but do hope Shaky has a great send off - I'll have a pint for him after work (here's hoping they have Coniston Bluebird on).
 
Mike said:
I found out about Dave a few days ago but was struggling to articulate my thoughts into words to add to this thread at the time.

The friction between me and Shaky has been well documented on here. However, I'm pleased to say that in more recent times we were on good terms privately. There were mis-understandings on both sides but there was also something massive that we had in common. And no, I don't mean that we were both Cumbrians!😉 I will explain more below.

The big thing we had in common was suffering from depression. I havn't talked about this publicly before although a handful of people on here knew about it to varying degrees. However, it's something that should be discussed more as that is the only way to create better understanding of this devastating illness as well as expel the many myths and misconceived perceptions. It is often more common in men as we tend not to talk about feelings as us men are supposed to be tough! If only we could chinwag like you women! It's good to talk and if that makes me a soft twat, then so be it.

For me it was a series of events that triggered it. I understand it was the same for Dave. You need to actually experience it to fully comprehend its affects. It causes devastation to life. When you go through it, perceptions of words, situations and events can be vastly distorted and exaggerated. Any everyday negative in life can be magnified 100 times when suffering from depression. This compounds what is already a living hell. It creates a viscous circle of what appears to be insurmountable problems. It's a downward spiral. It affects different people in different ways and manifests itself in different ways in different people.

To put it mildly, Shaky could be very difficult and stubborn on here! He was also very easy to wind up about Lonners! 😉 Away from the forum Dave was a good man with a good heart.


The Cumbrian C**t was supposed to be buying me a pint! Anyway he has got out of that one for now. I now wish I had arranged it sooner.


About a 15 months ago I changed my mobile as it was old and the battery was knackered. A couple of weeks ago I got it up and running again as I wanted to retrieve some data and guess what, there was a text from Shaky which said:

"Hi Mike, its Shaky. Havent heard from you in a while and some of us are worried about you mate. Please let us know you are ok, and if you are not, youre not alone mate, youre mates at PNE-Online are genuinely concerned." 09:55 15-10-10

I wish I had seen that text earlier.🙁 As I said earlier, he had a big heart.


Dave I know how much you loved Gods County of Cumbria but hated being a Cumbrian! It would have been good to get to a hound trail and photograph those dogs in action. And yes, I know the wise crack response you would have replied with! 😀

To a fellow Cumbrian, Good night and God bless.


Mike



People, please remember it's good to talk. Nobody should suffer in silence.
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Mike,

That's the most meaningful, articulate and honest post i have ever read on this board.


Nil carborundum illegitamae!
 
Mike said:
I found out about Dave a few days ago but was struggling to articulate my thoughts into words to add to this thread at the time.

The friction between me and Shaky has been well documented on here. However, I'm pleased to say that in more recent times we were on good terms privately. There were mis-understandings on both sides but there was also something massive that we had in common. And no, I don't mean that we were both Cumbrians!😉 I will explain more below.

The big thing we had in common was suffering from depression. I havn't talked about this publicly before although a handful of people on here knew about it to varying degrees. However, it's something that should be discussed more as that is the only way to create better understanding of this devastating illness as well as expel the many myths and misconceived perceptions. It is often more common in men as we tend not to talk about feelings as us men are supposed to be tough! If only we could chinwag like you women! It's good to talk and if that makes me a soft twat, then so be it.

For me it was a series of events that triggered it. I understand it was the same for Dave. You need to actually experience it to fully comprehend its affects. It causes devastation to life. When you go through it, perceptions of words, situations and events can be vastly distorted and exaggerated. Any everyday negative in life can be magnified 100 times when suffering from depression. This compounds what is already a living hell. It creates a viscous circle of what appears to be insurmountable problems. It's a downward spiral. It affects different people in different ways and manifests itself in different ways in different people.
To put it mildly, Shaky could be very difficult and stubborn on here! He was also very easy to wind up about Lonners! 😉 Away from the forum Dave was a good man with a good heart.


The Cumbrian C**t was supposed to be buying me a pint! Anyway he has got out of that one for now. I now wish I had arranged it sooner.


About a 15 months ago I changed my mobile as it was old and the battery was knackered. A couple of weeks ago I got it up and running again as I wanted to retrieve some data and guess what, there was a text from Shaky which said:

"Hi Mike, its Shaky. Havent heard from you in a while and some of us are worried about you mate. Please let us know you are ok, and if you are not, youre not alone mate, youre mates at PNE-Online are genuinely concerned." 09:55 15-10-10

I wish I had seen that text earlier As I said earlier, he had a big heart.


Dave I know how much you loved Gods County of Cumbria but hated being a Cumbrian! It would have been good to get to a hound trail and photograph those dogs in action. And yes, I know the wise crack response you would have replied with! 😀

To a fellow Cumbrian, Good night and God bless.


Mike



People, please remember it's good to talk. Nobody should suffer in silence.[/QUOTE]

Mike said:
Fair play Phil. :thumbsup:

You of course already knew my situation privetely but I thought it was time to 'man-up' go public on this as people should be encouraged to talk about this subject.
I'm still in shock and really have struggled to put things into words over the last few days.
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All of this i can relate to Mike and have gone through it all so you're never alone, one thing 'man up' is the easiest thing a best friend or a stranger can say to you but is in reality the hardest thing a person in this situation could ever do! well done to you Mike.
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Safe journey's to all those making their way to the funeral today. Please do pass on the condolences and best wishes from our online community.

I'll be seeking out a bottle or two of Coniston Bluebird to raise a glass later today. Does anyone know if Booths stock it?
 
BobAtkins said:
Safe journey's to all those making their way to the funeral today. Please do pass on the condolences and best wishes from our online community.

I'll be seeking out a bottle or two of Coniston Bluebird to raise a glass later today. Does anyone know if Booths stock it?
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The Fulwood Booths stocks it, not sure if other branches do though.
 
This thread has turned into a great one. In a way, it's a shame that some great, helpful testaments regarding depression, will be a bit lost in this >1000 post thread.... but hopefully they will stick in people's minds.

Of course, a lot of people are on the way to the funeral right now... So I'm going to sign off now. Best not to be writing my normal bollocks today.
 
giro said:
Mike,

That's the most meaningful, articulate and honest post i have ever read on this board.


Nil carborundum illegitamae!
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I agree entirely with you there. I read Mike's post and it stopped me in my tracks. I had to get myself a brew and read it again, slowly, line by line. Depression is clearly an illness I'm so lucky never have had to contend with. Until now, i'll be honest and say I hadn't even given it any thought.

If this thread, and the tragic event that it represents can help at least one person, then surely some good has come from such a devastating situation.

Thanks Mike for sharing that. And RIP Shaky. It's such a terrible thing, but today Shaky would have found out that he really had so many more friends to share his burden than perhaps he ever knew. Sadly too late.
 
Regardless said:
This thread has turned into a great one. In a way, it's a shame that some great, helpful testaments regarding depression, will be a bit lost in this >1000 post thread.... but hopefully they will stick in people's minds.
.
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I've been thinking that a fitting tribute here to Shaky would be a new sticky thread where we discuss depression and how to deal with it. I'm sure we've all had periods were we have felt down but I can hardly imagine the sort of feelings that drove Shaky do what he did. Maybe people have good advice they can pass on about dealing with this.. who to talk to ?.. where to get advice, support and help ?

What triggers it ? Do you have ways of dealing with it ?

I don't know if we have any specialists here who could lay out some basic advice.. can certain medications or their withdrawal cause it ?

I find myself asking "what can I/we do ?"

If men in particular have problems talking about these things.. then maybe the anonymity of a forum is the place folks can open up a bit... and get things off their chest before they build up to this extent.

It would be good to make something constructive emerge from this very sad episode.

RIP Shaky..
 
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sliper said:
I've been thinking that a fitting tribute here to Shaky would be a new thread where we discuss depression and how to deal with it. I'm sure we've all had periods were we have felt down but I can hardly imagine the sort of feelings that made Shaky do what he did. Maybe people have good advice they can pass on about dealing with this.. who to talk to ?.. where to get advice ?

I find myself asking "what can be done ?" If men in particular have problems talking about these things.. then maybe the anonymity of a forum is the place folks can open up a bit... and get things off their chest before it builds up to this extent. It would be good to make something constructive emerge from this very sad episode.

RIP Shaky..
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Maybe Deck (dirkpnemouse) would be the one to talk to as i'm sure he had his own forum for this at one time
and once mentioned to me he might one day set it up again?
 
Henrys Cat said:
I agree entirely with you there. I read Mike's post and it stopped me in my tracks. I had to get myself a brew and read it again, slowly, line by line. Depression is clearly an illness I'm so lucky never have had to contend with. Until now, I'll be honest and say I hadn't even given it any thought.

If this thread, and the tragic event that it represents can help at least one person, then surely some good has come from such a devastating situation.

Thanks Mike for sharing that. And RIP Shaky. It's such a terrible thing, but today Shaky would have found out that he really had so many more friends to share his burden than perhaps he ever knew. Sadly too late.
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I totally agree with you, reading Mike's post made me really think deeply about how devastating depression can be and people don't take in all that seriously because it is an illness that is on the inside and not something that can be seen like losing an arm or having a scar from an operation, etc.

I am currently helping two people I know try and get over and come out of depression as much as they can by just taking the time to talk to them, encourage them and let them that someone other than just their wives and family care. It is not a quick process and one that always leaves a scar on the inside of the individual as they never really get their full confidence back and, sometimes, some still do not feel 100% worthwhile even when they do come out of the depression, but all we can do for them is love them and take our time to show that love. If I can help anyone in anyway please pm me and I'll let them have my phone number so we can talk if they want that, BTW I am no professional in this field but I do know it is good to talk.

Hope everyone had a good and safe journey to day and all went well celebrating Shaky's life, may his memory go on for ever.
 
giro said:
Mike,

That's the most meaningful, articulate and honest post i have ever read on this board.


Nil carborundum illegitamae!
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Thank you. I was just hoping what I said would make sense.

hesy said:
All of this i can relate to Mike and have gone through it all so you're never alone, one thing 'man up' is the easiest thing a best friend or a stranger can say to you but is in reality the hardest thing a person in this situation could ever do! well done to you Mike.
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Spot on. Us men really are 'big girls' when it comes to talking about our feelings. We need to be more like women and talk more.

Regardless said:
This thread has turned into a great one. In a way, it's a shame that some great, helpful testaments regarding depression, will be a bit lost in this >1000 post thread.... but hopefully they will stick in people's minds.
Click to expand...

I was already thinking about starting a thread in off topic. I feel it would bring out a positive.

It's good to talk. 🙂
 
Well done to all who turned up today,plenty of PNE shirts evident.
It was a dignified and well attended service.Many old faces were there too.
I left a packed Farmers Arms in Ulverston and the wake was underway.
The ammount of people who attended was a testament to the popularity of the man,my old mate.
 
PNE_KENDAL said:
Well done to all who turned up today,plenty of PNE shirts evident.
It was a dignified and well attended service.Many old faces were there too.
I left a packed Farmers Arms in Ulverston and the wake was underway.
The ammount of people who attended was a testament to the popularity of the man,my old mate.
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Thanks for that PNE K good to hear and Shaky is getting a good send off, hope you'll be sinking a couple later and i'll raise a glass or two myself.
 
PNE_KENDAL said:
Well done to all who turned up today,plenty of PNE shirts evident.
It was a dignified and well attended service.Many old faces were there too.
I left a packed Farmers Arms in Ulverston and the wake was underway.
The ammount of people who attended was a testament to the popularity of the man,my old mate.
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I've just got back myself. What a day. As PNE_Kendal stated it was a very very well attended church service which just illustrates the popularity of the man. The wake was very well attended too.

The video of when Shaky was on the tele on the hound trailing documentary was shown and Bint got up and made a brilliant speech on behalf of us lot.

So there were tears, laughs and memories.

A fitting tribute and send off to a top man, husband, father and friend.

We have also raised £920 at last count which is excellent.

R.I.P Shaky.
 
Djyamo said:
I've just got back myself. What a day. As PNE_Kendal stated it was a very very well attended church service which just illustrates the popularity of the man. The wake was very well attended too.

The video of when Shaky was on the tele on the hound trailing documentary was shown and Bint got up and made a brilliant speech on behalf of us lot.

So there were tears, laughs and memories.

A fitting tribute and send off to a top man, husband, father and friend.

We have also raised £920 at last count which is excellent.

R.I.P Shaky.
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Lots of people, lots of tears and quite alot of laughter today...a fitting tribute, beautiful church, lovely speeches...Katie's speech made me cry again in the pub when I'd already thought I was all cried out...It was a real pleasure meeting some of yous off here...albeit it would have been nicer under different circumstances. A lovely day...bar the rain, but apparently if it rains on the day of your funeral it means you're happy and at peace...I so hope Shaky is...R.I.P. Goodnight, God Bless xxx

P.S. The scones with jam and cream were absolutely gorgeous 🙂
 
Today's wonderful turn out said all there is to be said.. Everybody knew you were a stubborn git. Everybody knew you were ridiculously opinionated. But everyone knew you were a top bloke once they'd gotten to talk to you and got to know you. You educated me on a lot of things. I ignored you on many others. You were a fellow Bowie enthusiast but we always disagreed on Oasis.. That thick Manc monkey is pretty useless, I s'pose.!

It was a pleasure to know you. You were clearly a very popular man in your hometown, as well as in mine.

I hope you're reading this.. And if you are.. THANKS FOR THE RAIN, YOU TWAT!!!!!!!!

Stay safe pal,

Andy.
 
shabbagaz said:
The Fulwood Booths stocks it, not sure if other branches do though.
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Cheers shabba, I managed to get some in the Knutsford branch. 2 Conistan Bluebirds, 2 Conistan Old Man's and a couple from the Ulverston brewery (didn't know there was one!). So here's to you Shaky. I hope your family can find peace and move on with their lives after today. And cheers to Mike and everyone who has talked of their own dealings with depression. I wish you well in dealing with such a powerful affliction.
 
I wasn't going to post anything regards myself on here but after reading Mikes post perhaps it may help someone else.

I have explained my illness already to two people on here, Joan and Bint (I must need a ladies opinion 🙂) prior to Mikes post. I was diagnosed with depression four years ago and have been on medication ever since. It was a series of events that led to my demise, over a period of several years I found myself in a situation that I felt I could not escape. At one point I was so far removed from reality that I was living two lives, I was the loud, brash life and soul in company but spent hours sat in my car sobbing.

I cannot go to much into detail as several people know me on here and it was work related, in a nutshell I had to prove company fraud had been committed by others and not myself. Thankfully the law saw sense and I was proven correct, but the proof took four and a half years and simply made me ill. I started taking 'risks', not breaking till the last second in the car being the most obvious.

I had six months off work, three months of counselling, a change of career and got through the worst, BUT anything can kick you backwards. I can literally leave the house in the greatest mood and by the time I leave the drive I can feel the darkness behind my eyes. It really is crippling.

If there is anyone on here that ever wants to pm me regards this issue further please do, if it doesn't help you it may actually help me.
 
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